Feeling just like meh tonight. Feeling alone and wondering where the old pre diabetic, care free me has gone.
I miss the days of having random adventures without having to plan what food to take or if I have enough supplies. I miss going out drinking and enjoying myself not having to worry if my bloods end up low and people with think I’m just drunk. I miss being around people that aren’t constantly checking in if my bloods are okay. I miss being able to not worry about what will happen to me in two hours if I eat that doughnut and don’t inject insulin for it. I miss when my stomach was not a pin board. I miss being able to go crazy with sex and not worry that my bloods may go low with the exercise. I miss not having to explain to everyone around me why I’m pricking my finger. I miss being asked how I am without them really meaning “how is the diabetes”. I miss being able to do what I wanted at nighttime without worrying about my 9pm lantus injection. I miss being able to stay out dancing all night long and only having to worry about being hungover and not moving all day.
Today is one of those days where I just miss the pre diabetic me. Tomorrow is another day where I can think positive again but for tonight, I shall sleep dreaming about running away to the beach and not having diabetes.