diabetes

Type 1 Day 1

I feel like I am not like most others that were diagnosed. I suspect they saw all the signs (unlike me); drinking lots of water, excessive weight loss etc. Knowing something wasn’t wrong with them, they headed to the endocrinologist where they were told that there symptoms all lined up with Type 1. There was a few days to think it over before finding out test results and getting the shocking news.

I had all the signs early, losing 15kgs and drinking 6-7L of water a day. In my head there was nothing wrong. I was going to the gym and losing weight because of it YAY. The excuse I made for the excessive amount of water I drank was that I was dehydrated and not retaining my water consumption. So I drank disgusting iodised salt water. (It didn’t help lol)

I have had period problems for a few years. They are super heavy, last for weeks (may be a exaggeration), and get very very bad PMS. I have read Dr Libby’s books over and over and they constantly talk about how your period should be a amazing time to be in sync with your ‘womanly’ self. I could not comprehend, a amazing time? Fuck that! I spent my 2 weeks curled up in bed hugging a heat pack, with chocolate wrappers everywhere hoping no one would talk to me.

It was time to get it checked AGAIN. This was about the third doctor i had seen about my period. First they thought it was just abnormal and I would grow out of it, second they thought it was PCOS. This meant gynaecologist appointment including getting my cervix scraped on camera. They told me not to look and I did, so stupid of me because that part of the body is so gross lol.

Finally a new doctor did some blood tests. She tested my thyroid, hormone levels, and just as a precaution diabetes. I didn’t even consider while waiting for my results it would be diabetes. No way could it be that, my thyroid etc is just playing up and it will be a easy fix.

It wasn’t until I got the phone call from the diabetes clinic in Hamilton that it kind of sunk in. They summoned me to the emergency department that night with a hba1c (blood glucose level) of 183 and a ketone level off the chart. I rang mum and dad and the drove up to Waikato Hospital the next day.

I spent the night in my hospital bed listening to snoring, reading my book and txting my partner all night. The doctors hadn’t confirmed anything, instead just pumped me with insulin while waiting for the diabetic nurse to come and tell me the “great” news.

I left the hospital that afternoon with a bag full of gear; pamphlets, 2 insulin injection pens, insulin cartridges, blood glucose monitor, glucose strips, ketone pee strips, needles, and a lot of knowledge thrown at me.

I remember thinking “What’s the big deal? People are dying of cancer, all I have is diabetes!”

Two weeks in it all hit me at once. Why me? What did I do? I ate so healthy? I should not have done the lift+ and maccas diet? I could not comprehend why I have to prick myself every two hours, why I have to inject myself daily, why I have to do this for the rest of my life!

It’s still super early for me still, 2 months since I was diagnosed, so I am not a expert yet. However, I can see now why people feel sympathetic towards the diagnoses. Diabetes affects EVERYTHING. If my bloods are high I am cranky, bitchy and horrible to be around. If my bloods are low I don’t want to speak to anyone, and want to binge on sugar. (I’m surprised my partner wants to hang out with me most days).

Diabetes affects exercise, driving, going out shopping, everything you want to do. You cannot leave the house without a handbag or you will forget your gear and then have to go back home, or risk getting high or low and becoming bitchy diabetic Sam. No one likes her.

Even without diabetes we all have high and low days, I just have to not let the diabetes affect my life and let other ‘normal’ things affect it!

Love always,

Samantha

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